Since I began considering the Marine Corps as part of my future I’ve been unable to concentrate on my schoolwork. I am weeks behind in physics and I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m not looking forward to it at all. I have been unable to motivate myself because I hope that it won’t matter. I want to be a Marine. And at first, while they were still telling me that my bum knee wouldn’t be a problem everything seemed to be going great. But now things have begun to look a little different and the schoolwork I neglected earlier is going to have to be faced. Bad news on both accounts and no easy way out.

How can I let myself be so lazy? What happened to the determination that used to define who I was? Where has my self-integrity gone? Since removing television from my life, three days ago, I’ve had more and more time to analyze my dejected state. And while that’s brought me to new levels of self-loathing, it has not done much for my motivation. I wish I could just snap out of it. But I’ve been trying for days now over the Thanksgiving break and all I have to show for it is a completed Rubik’s cube and a couple more games of chess under my belt. Pleasant these things are, but not what I need.